So I
talked to a trainer last
week. I've talked to her before, but this time she reached out to me.
She started texting me and asked me if I still wanted to compete. I
said "Of course!"
We got to talking and I explained how I
just couldn't afford to work with her. She was WAY
out of my price range. It's because she
is one of the Best!
She
said that she could tell that I was
determined to succeed and that she wanted to help me out. So,
she made a deal with me. I can't go into the details of the deal
because I've been sworn to
secrecy. lol. But she made it affordable
for me. OH MY GOSH! I was jumping for
joy and nearly in tears!
But
now I fear that I may have made a deal with
the devil. She is definitely not a devil. She
is a Saint! But bikini competition
training is the Devil! It is so hard, and so demanding, and so
LONG!
Technically,
I just
started today.
But over the past couple of days I tried to control my eating and
stick to clean foods. I talked to her on Wednesday and she was
supposed to send me my plan on Thursday. But
my daughter became gravely ill Wednesday night. I ended
up spending Thursday and Friday running back and forth between
doctors and the hospital. It was insane
and terrifying. She is 15 months old and can't tell me what's
wrong and so it's just a guessing game. It
took everything I had to console and comfort her, and most
importantly keep her temperature below 106! Poor thing.
But all my time was spent, and I didn't get any sleep for 2 nights.
So, I really didn't have any time to check my email. I didn't find it
until Saturday, and I still had to take care of my sick baby girl.
So, I printed it off and tried to eat healthy. I spent all Sunday
preparing my meals for the week. And when I say all day I mean
ALL day! And
I still didn't have time or the ingredients to prepare my breakfasts
for the week. Oh and I ended up getting sick with strept
throat I think on Friday. Josh got sick Sunday afternoon with body
aches and a fever. It's
just been super crazy around here.
But
I'm claiming Sunday as my rest day because
according to the Bible it is supposed to be. But I had to make
one exception. Even
on my rest day I still have to do 30 minutes of cardio after I have
my last meal. And oh my word! I am so out of cardio
shape! I went for a run and it was brutal.
I did 4 miles at a 9:10 pace. Total time was 36:03. Not too bad for
guessing what I should do to meet the 30min requirement. She said I
absolutely cannot afford to miss a minute of my cardio.
Which sucks because I
already missed 4 days of my program. Ouch. Which really
sucks in the big picture because I'm
weeks and months behind the other competitors.
But
she thinks that I can still get ready
enough in time for the show to look great! To me that sounds
like not good enough to win, but
good enough that I won't look like a joke on the stage.
And that sucks, but it's
my own fault. It's good enough for me though. I
just want to compete. I want to see if I can do it.
I want to be on that stage. I want to accomplish something so
big and so hard that I'll never regret it. Something
so that I can hold my head high.
But I
am so far behind schedule that I am going to have to kill it to do
this. And
by it I've learned in one day that that means myself. I
am dying!!!
I've
talked to dozens of girls that have competed and they have all told
me the same thing. No matter what you do
you are going to be exhausted. Functioning
will be difficult. All
of your time
will be spent training and cooking. And any money
that you have to your name will disappear. Which
is scary because I was broke before I started this.
This
morning I had an hour of cardio I had to complete on an empty
stomach. I woke up late and so the sun was already up.
I couldn't decide if I should drag my daughter (who will still be
recovering for the next 10 days) out into the heat. Mostly, I
didn't want to do cardio in the heat. But I finally convinced myself
to just do it. I ended up
rollerblading while pushing the jogging stroller. It
has been years since I did any rollerblading outside. Owww!
My glutes were killing from the moment I started. It was hot, but not
too bad. With the breeze it made it pretty nice actually. And I had
my girl covered head to toe in sunscreen and hidden in the canopy. So
I think we both enjoyed ourselves.
Glad I did it!
But
today I am craving carbs! I
just want to eat some of my daughter's goldfish crackers, or a slice
of toast, or a roll, or a poptart even! I
just want something to munch on. Right now I
find myself staring at the clock waiting until my next opportunity to
eat. And you don't know this and hopefully you can't tell, but
my brain is even struggling! I have had to
backspace and delete a million times while writing this. Usually I
don't struggle so much, but I sure am today. And I can only think of
one thing to blame - Lack of
sugar. And I am hypoglycemic so I am Really
feeling it.
But I
did my weekly photos and measurements today. And here they are...
(Keep in
mind that these are all pre-coach training results. So, they are not
fabulous.)
and I
had just gotten out of the shower after my run.
