10 weeks out. New Plan.

So I talked to a trainer last week. I've talked to her before, but this time she reached out to me. She started texting me and asked me if I still wanted to compete. I said "Of course!" We got to talking and I explained how I just couldn't afford to work with her. She was WAY out of my price range. It's because she is one of the Best!

She said that she could tell that I was determined to succeed and that she wanted to help me out. So, she made a deal with me. I can't go into the details of the deal because I've been sworn to secrecy. lol. But she made it affordable for me. OH MY GOSH! I was jumping for joy and nearly in tears!

But now I fear that I may have made a deal with the devil. She is definitely not a devil. She is a Saint! But bikini competition training is the Devil! It is so hard, and so demanding, and so LONG!

Technically, I just started today. But over the past couple of days I tried to control my eating and stick to clean foods. I talked to her on Wednesday and she was supposed to send me my plan on Thursday. But my daughter became gravely ill Wednesday night. I ended up spending Thursday and Friday running back and forth between doctors and the hospital. It was insane and terrifying. She is 15 months old and can't tell me what's wrong and so it's just a guessing game. It took everything I had to console and comfort her, and most importantly keep her temperature below 106! Poor thing. But all my time was spent, and I didn't get any sleep for 2 nights. So, I really didn't have any time to check my email. I didn't find it until Saturday, and I still had to take care of my sick baby girl. So, I printed it off and tried to eat healthy. I spent all Sunday preparing my meals for the week. And when I say all day I mean ALL day! And I still didn't have time or the ingredients to prepare my breakfasts for the week. Oh and I ended up getting sick with strept throat I think on Friday. Josh got sick Sunday afternoon with body aches and a fever. It's just been super crazy around here.

But I'm claiming Sunday as my rest day because according to the Bible it is supposed to be. But I had to make one exception. Even on my rest day I still have to do 30 minutes of cardio after I have my last meal. And oh my word! I am so out of cardio shape! I went for a run and it was brutal. I did 4 miles at a 9:10 pace. Total time was 36:03. Not too bad for guessing what I should do to meet the 30min requirement. She said I absolutely cannot afford to miss a minute of my cardio. Which sucks because I already missed 4 days of my program. Ouch. Which really sucks in the big picture because I'm weeks and months behind the other competitors.

But she thinks that I can still get ready enough in time for the show to look great! To me that sounds like not good enough to win, but good enough that I won't look like a joke on the stage. And that sucks, but it's my own fault. It's good enough for me though. I just want to compete. I want to see if I can do it. I want to be on that stage. I want to accomplish something so big and so hard that I'll never regret it. Something so that I can hold my head high.

But I am so far behind schedule that I am going to have to kill it to do this. And by it I've learned in one day that that means myself. I am dying!!!

I've talked to dozens of girls that have competed and they have all told me the same thing. No matter what you do you are going to be exhausted. Functioning will be difficult. All of your time will be spent training and cooking. And any money that you have to your name will disappear. Which is scary because I was broke before I started this.

This morning I had an hour of cardio I had to complete on an empty stomach. I woke up late and so the sun was already up. I couldn't decide if I should drag my daughter (who will still be recovering for the next 10 days) out into the heat. Mostly, I didn't want to do cardio in the heat. But I finally convinced myself to just do it. I ended up rollerblading while pushing the jogging stroller. It has been years since I did any rollerblading outside. Owww! My glutes were killing from the moment I started. It was hot, but not too bad. With the breeze it made it pretty nice actually. And I had my girl covered head to toe in sunscreen and hidden in the canopy. So I think we both enjoyed ourselves. Glad I did it!

But today I am craving carbs! I just want to eat some of my daughter's goldfish crackers, or a slice of toast, or a roll, or a poptart even! I just want something to munch on. Right now I find myself staring at the clock waiting until my next opportunity to eat. And you don't know this and hopefully you can't tell, but my brain is even struggling! I have had to backspace and delete a million times while writing this. Usually I don't struggle so much, but I sure am today. And I can only think of one thing to blame - Lack of sugar. And I am hypoglycemic so I am Really feeling it.

But I did my weekly photos and measurements today. And here they are...

(Keep in mind that these are all pre-coach training results. So, they are not fabulous.)

and I had just gotten out of the shower after my run.