First, Hallie couldn't fall asleep. She was up until sometime after midnight. It was kind of rough. But Josh had hopped in bed earlier. After I got her to bed I had to get ready for bed. Which is a long process. I hate getting ready for bed. Sometimes I really wish makeup was never invented. lol. When I finally did get in bed Josh woke up, and then he couldn't fall asleep which kept me up. We were up until sometime after 4:30am.
Then I received a call at 7:30am from my Dad. He was informing me that my Aunt Marlene had passed away. It was heartbreaking. We all loved her so much. I feel terrible for my Dad. I have no idea how it feels to lose a sibling, and I don't want to know. I wanted to say something supportive that would make him feel less pain. But I didn't know what to say. I never know what to say when there's a death. And the lack of sleep wasn't helping either. I was able to fall back asleep, but then I woke up to knocking at my door at 8:30am. It was my parents. They were going to make a roadtrip back to Iowa for the funeral and were planning on leaving early Monday morning. And they wanted to know if we wanted to go. The rest of the day was spent trying to decide if I wanted to go and if we could. I did want to... Really bad. But could Hallie handle that much time in her carseat?? I wanted to be there to support my parents. But I didn't want them to have to spend money on us. I wanted to visit with all of my relatives. But it's normally a 2-day drive by itself. How long would it take us to get there if we had to stop every 2 hours to feed and burp Hallie for an hour?? I wanted to go to the funeral and say my goodbyes. But I knew it would be hard on me. Finally I prayed at 9:30pm and my parents and I decided we'd just make another trip when Hallie was a little older and it would be easier. It killed me and relieved me at the same time.
Lucky for Josh, he was able to take a 3 1/2 hour nap while I stayed up with Hallie and took care of things. But sadly, it made us miss lunch with my Grandparents. I hate missing family things. I really want to make a greater effort to be more involved with family functions. I've really become more aware of the fact that family is the most important thing in this life. It always has been and always will be. And another let-down, we missed church. We've reallygotta do better. I just wish someone else would make an equal or greater effort. One step at a time, Caraline, one step at a time.
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